humbling…

Today has been filled with opportunities to remember that I am not nearly as fabulous as I sometimes begin to think I am…
I overslept a bit leading to a necessary hat day…
I arrived at church, remembering to print the small group sheets moments before heading to class to find the printer jammed and I was completely baffled and couldn’t find the darn piece of jammed paper…really does a machine need that many levers inside?
I then made it downstairs to find a beautifully prepared room (right now Woodbury is hosting a few families from a local shelter as overflow space…and typically on Sunday mornings the room is less than prepared for us to have Jr. High Bible class…)…I had been preparing myself for chaos and then was shown that I need not always be so pessimistic.
I set up the projector for the DVD and had it working…but then come time for the DVD –nothing. It refused to play.
Unfortunately I hadn’t prepared for a DVD malfunction or really prepared my lesson all that well and so the snafu led to Lindsey rambling…which sometimes can produce interesting results, BUT…
There was a lockout on Friday night and I am convinced that the Lockout ate my brain…as a not new Youth minister I should have prepared for this reality…instead of just assuming I’d be able to push my way through it.
I botched the lesson like nobody’s business…it tanked.  Really good stuff to be shared, Joel had created a fabulous lesson (YES, i didn’t even need to be creative…just deliver the material) and I screwed it up.
I sat down with my small group afterwards and they looked at me and said “we have no idea what you were talking about”…I had been talking for 25 minutes…and nothing…

God is good and faithful and I pray that in His mercy He still chose to work inspite of my lack of preparation, my befuddled, sleep deprived brain, and my prideful refusal to admit my shortcomings.  If nothing else, I feel like God has worked on me today through my botched morning…I am convicted, aware of my need to refocus, and drawn back down to my knees…which is where I should have been in the first place.

“If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared.  I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.” Psalm 130:3-5