Life in this moment…

{entertaining, odd, and hopefully not too far away from reality}

consumed January 27, 2009

Filed under: awakenings — Lindsey @ 12:39 am

I have been feeling strange since I returned from Haiti this time.  I feel like my mind is consumed and that I am floating.
The sensation resembles that of crush mode (the phenomenon that happens to me when I can’t really stop thinking about a person and then proceed to have a relationship with said person inside my head…thus setting myself up for a crash when said person doesn’t show signs of having a similar mental relationship with me…although sometimes I can pull back from my crazy and just start to dwell on all the things that drive me crazy about said person….real or imagined) (does this make me nuts?)…well back to what I was saying….

The sensation resembles crush mode except there isn’t a boy…my brain is consumed with lots of things….Don’s comments in Blue like Jazz about accepting grace and what love looks like, Jason’s comments from this weekend’s retreat about being willing to take risks, the book of Romans and Colossians and how Paul’s voice all of a sudden sounds so tender to me compared to how I’ve read it in the past, about what my life is headed towards in the current path I am on, about how much I love loud music, and my recent discovery of how cool action movies are.

I can’t really explain the floating thing except to say I keep having these moments of thinking about myself outside my self.  What do my actions say about me, what do my life patterns reflect to the world about who I am and what I stand for….I feel like Hiro  in Heroes when he can slow time down and look around and see the people around him move slowly as he moves at normal speed. Although I feel like I am moving at a slower pace while the world around me flashes by. I’m in slow mo.

Not sure what it all means right now…but I am eager to see what God is doing in this moment of restlessness.

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clean January 11, 2009

Filed under: everyday life — Lindsey @ 12:38 am

clean clothes
cleaned closets
cleaned dresser drawers
clean sheets

my room isn’t all the way straightened, but I’ve purged 3 bags worth of clothing from my closets and drawers, packed for Haiti, started packing for snow riot, organized my closets, and my room is beginning to feel sane again.

Today has been good for my soul…cleaning (who would have thunk?), packing, an hour on the treadmill, some solo shopping at Target, chips and salsa with my friends Ted, Barney, Robin, Lilly, and Marshall…then a little Heroes to disrupt my sleep tonight. oye

Haiti count down: 4 days till departure.
Anyone want to go in with me on buying toothbrushes and toothpaste for the kids?

 

the list January 7, 2009

Filed under: everyday life — Lindsey @ 11:30 pm

i’ve started listing this week…this is a typical behavior for me around january each year and especially when I have a short time to accomplish lots of things.
I leave for Haiti in one week and there are lots of things to sort out before then…Foundations, Powerhouse, packing, Haiti Mission Project mailings, etc. So the lists began Sunday and since then I have had a strange sense of panic residing inside my chest. Usually the list gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment as I check things off…this week however the checking off of completed items only brings a brief flash of joy and then back to feeling weighed down and anxious.
I’m trying to name what exactly seems so daunting that is lurking inside my list…but I can’t find it yet.

so while I’ve been fighting this anxiety I have successfully managed 7 days of eating at least one vegetable each day…and I wrote a note to a friend this week…so the new year’s goals are going well! (so far)

I revisited my goals for year 27 and I am doing very well…I’ve visited more than 3 National parks and seen some pretty great shows/concerts each month so far…I’ve even played speed scrabble a couple of times. So cheers to the 27th year of Lindsey list! A list that has brought great joy instead of trepidation.

 

hi, my name is lindsey… January 6, 2009

Filed under: everyday life — Lindsey @ 11:35 pm

and i am addicted to television.
right now my best friend’s names are Ted Mosby, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Claire Bennet (so far only seasons 1-2), Justin Walker, Jim Halpert and Addison Montgomery.
Seriously…a little ridiculous…
I am ashamed to share the number of hours I’ve watched TV over the past week…and for the record I didn’t watch any TV on Wednesday or Monday…

high fives to those who can name the shows!

 

Back in the swing…or should i say sled…

Filed under: everyday life — Lindsey @ 1:05 am

Getting back into the routine of life is always a little difficult for me…I like the change from routine to holiday and back to routine, which leads to counting down the days till a holiday or trip (HAITI is 10 days away!!!), then back to routine…this rhythm keeps life interesting.
I thrived in the school rhythm…1st semester then a month off…2nd semester then summer. It created a stopping point and a starting point for me.

Adulthood seems to have far fewer defined starting and stopping points…but this year I had a very defined Christmas break. I was able to spend a few days in Texas with the family then a few days in ABQ/Denver with friends. It was much longed for and very timely. Those days away from my normal life gave me a feeling of ending last year and beginning this year.

When I came back to the frozen tundra I found myself looking forward to seeing people I hadn’t seen in a few weeks…I had missed my “normal” life and the “normal” things I do and people I see. One co-worker said to me “I’ve missed this” after a conversation filled with razzing and good banter. I was only gone a few days…but the break gave me a chance to balance out…to start fresh.

So while my transition back into my office today was a little slow on the uptake, it is nice to come back refreshed…re-energized…and ready to do “normal” until my next hiatus (did I mention I go to Haiti in 10 days?) .

Hope your transitions out of the holiday sugar high and into the routine of “normal” are going smoothly!